When Everything You Knew About Yourself Begins to Change
Have you ever experienced a season in your life where everything you thought you knew about yourself began to fall away?
A time when the things that once gave you certainty no longer felt meaningful? When the roles you had inhabited, the identities you had built, and the ways you had always moved through the world suddenly felt unfamiliar?
Perhaps you found yourself quietly asking questions you never thought you would ask.
Who am I now?
What is happening to me?
Why does this feel so difficult?
There are moments in life when we enter a landscape that few people know how to name. A place where the old version of ourselves begins to dissolve, yet the new version has not fully emerged.
It is not a punishment. It is not a sign that you have failed. It is not evidence that you have lost your way.
Sometimes, it is the very place where transformation begins.
“This is what many traditions have called “the dark night of the soul”.
My name is Shekinah, and for over two decades I have walked alongside women through deep transitions, healing journeys and the moments where life asks us to become someone new.
Through my own experiences of motherhood, loss, illness, rebirth and profound personal transformation, as well as through the many stories I have witnessed in others, I have come to understand something important:
Some of the most challenging seasons of our lives are not simply times when something is going wrong.
Sometimes they are invitations. Invitations to shed what is no longer aligned. Invitations to release the identities we have outgrown. Invitations to meet ourselves more honestly. Invitations into transformation.
When the old identity stops working
Many people imagine transformation begins with inspiration. With clarity. With a sudden knowing of what comes next.
But often, transformation begins with discomfort.
It begins when the version of yourself that helped you survive is no longer the version that can help you grow.
Perhaps you have spent years being the strong one. The one who holds everything together. The one who achieves, adapts and keeps moving forward no matter what life brings.
Perhaps you became the person everyone could rely on, while quietly losing connection with the parts of yourself that needed care, attention and expression.
And then one day, something inside you whispers: “There must be more than this.”
That whisper can be unsettling.
Because the identity we have built, even the parts that have become exhausting, can feel familiar. They have protected us. They have helped us navigate the world.
But sometimes the very armour that once kept us safe begins to restrict our ability to fully live. The dark night often begins when we can no longer ignore the call to come home to ourselves.
The sacred space between who you were and who you are becoming
One of the most difficult parts of transformation is the in-between.
The threshold. The place where the old chapter has ended, but the new one has not yet revealed itself. This space can feel confusing. It can feel lonely. It can feel as though you have lost your direction.
Many people believe they should always be moving forward, progressing, achieving and knowing where they are going. But nature does not work this way.
There are seasons of blooming, and there are seasons of retreat. There are times when the seed must disappear beneath the surface before new life can emerge. The seed underground is not failing because it is no longer visible.
It is gathering strength. It is transforming. It is becoming.
Perhaps you are not lost. Perhaps you are in the sacred pause between versions of yourself.
The grief of letting go
Transformation requires endings. And endings can bring grief.
We often celebrate beginnings, the new relationship, the new baby, the new career, the new chapter, but we do not always honour the sacred process of letting go.
You may find yourself grieving old dreams. Old relationships. Old expectations. Old versions of yourself that once felt so familiar.
You may even grieve identities you know you have outgrown. The woman who always needed to be everything for everyone. The woman who measured her worth through productivity. The woman who ignored her own needs because there was always someone else to care for.
Grief is not always a sign that you are moving backwards. Sometimes grief is evidence that something mattered.
Sometimes it is the heart acknowledging a version of yourself that carried you as far as she could. She deserves gratitude. She deserves compassion. She deserves to be honoured as you gently release her.
When your sensitivity becomes your compass
During these seasons of deep transformation, many people notice they become more sensitive. The things they once tolerated may no longer feel comfortable. The noise of the world may feel louder. The desire for solitude may become stronger.
They may find themselves drawn inward, seeking quiet, nature, reflection and deeper connection.
This sensitivity is often misunderstood. But perhaps it is not weakness. Perhaps it is wisdom returning. Perhaps your body, your intuition and your inner knowing are guiding you back towards what is true.
A woman’s body was never designed to be a machine.
It was designed to be a compass.
A compass that can guide her through seasons of change, endings, beginnings and becoming.
The invitation is not to override yourself. The invitation is to listen. To slow down. To notice what your deeper self has been trying to tell you.
The dark night is a passage, not a destination
There is something I believe we need to remember when we enter these challenging seasons:
The dark night is not where the story ends. It is a passage. It is a threshold.
The purpose is not to remain in the darkness forever. The purpose is to allow what is no longer true to fall away, so that something more authentic can emerge. Transformation is not about becoming someone else. It is not about creating a more perfect version of yourself. It is about remembering who you were beneath all the layers. Beneath the expectations. Beneath the roles. Beneath the stories you inherited about who you should be.
The journey is not becoming more. The journey is returning.
If you find yourself standing at the threshold
If you are moving through a season where life feels uncertain…if you feel as though you are between who you were and who you are becoming…if something inside you is shifting, even though you cannot yet explain what it is…
I want you to know there is wisdom in this passage. You do not need to rush yourself through it. You do not need to force clarity before it is ready to arrive. You do not need to have all the answers immediately. But you do deserve support as you navigate this sacred threshold.
My work is centred around holding space for these moments of transformation, the seasons where we release, reorient, rewild and step into a deeper expression of ourselves.
Because perhaps what feels like the ending of a chapter is actually the beginning of a new one. Perhaps the place where everything falls away is not the place where you disappear. Perhaps it is the doorway.
And perhaps, on the other side, you are waiting to meet yourself again.
I guide women through the sacred threshold of transformation. Helping them understand their journey, release what no longer serves, and consciously step into who they are becoming
Shekinah Leigh
Holistic Counsellor * Matrescence Mentor * Marriage Celebrant * Shamanic Practitioner * PSYCH-K® Facilitator * Ceremonial Guide
Guiding women through the sacred threshold of becoming
Located in Northern NSW and the Gold Coast
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